Bigamy
Act I
Scene 1 – Friday, around 8pm
I'm pacing around the breakfast room in the house of a girl named Stacy, as I talk to my mother on a cordless phone. I, Stacy, and another fictitious dream character, Eric, have just returned from seeing a movie at the theater. Stacy and Eric are in other parts of the house.
"Yes mom, I know it's weird that she's dating two people at the same time, but I'm okay with it. NO it's not like that. No, the relationship is pretty Platonic. Sure we go out and do stuff the three of us, but there's really not much intimacy to it. Yeah, I've kissed her a couple of times, but he wasn't around. That's about it. Friends mostly. I'm not sure if their interaction is the same. I've gotta go. Yeah. I need to run. Bye."
Scene 2 – Saturday, 10am
I'd been asleep on the couch in Stacy's den and have only been awake for about 10 minutes. The curtains are drawn, giving the entire interior of the house a sort of dim brown color. I'm wandering around the den, deciding whether to take a shower, watch TV, go home, or go back to sleep on the couch.
Eric is still asleep on the couch in living room.
A few minutes later Stacy emerges from her bedroom, chattering loudly, and walks past me to an old-fashioned blackboard on the back wall of the den. The commotion has awoken Eric, who is standing sleepily leaning against the archway between the living room and den.
Stacy points to the blackboard, on which is written a long math proof in paragraph form:
Stacy is emotionally out of sorts and cranky, and her mood is matched by her appearance — unkempt hair, wrinkled t-shirt in which she slept, and squinty eyes. She explains that the mathematics proof gives the reason why she can't continue with the two of us, and that she really needs to be single for a while. Eric protests a little. I'm simply befuddled by the situation.
Remembering a comment my brother has often made, I think to myself, "I guess I lost my turn, then. . . ."
I put on my shoes, gather my keys and wallet, and walk out the door and down the sidewalk to my car.
Act II
Scene 1 – Saturday, 3pm
I and my friends Weyandt, Rob, and Peck are packed into the red Toyota Corolla I drove in high school and college, on the way to a party at Stacy's friend Amy's house (another fictional character).
I'm driving, and have chosen to follow a mostly residential route to get there. The road has many dips, and everyone in the car is laughing as we hit each one.
We arrive at the house, which seems fairly quiet from the outside. There don't appear to be many cars around, and I park in the driveway, which is empty. My friends and I stand around the driveway and joke and talk for quite a while before going inside.
Scene 2 – Saturday, 3:30pm
Standing in the front living room of the small house I'm surrounded by many very drunk people. Even the small couch facing the front door is piled up with about 7 people. In addition to the friends that came with me, Rusty and Sarah are also here, and several dream friends.
I find myself a drink and begin mingling about the house.
As I enter the family room in the center of the house, I see Stacy sitting on top of a round table, crying softly. Putting any confusion about the morning aside, I ask her if she's okay.
Obviously quite drunk, she sort of nods and sniffles.
I think for a moment, and then postulate, "This breakup thing this morning — it wasn't really about being single was it? You wanted to be with Eric, but couldn't figure out a way to be fair about it."
She looked me in the eyes, paused, and then slowly nodded her head.
"Why didn't you ask?" I said. "It's okay with me. I'm a little disappointed, of course, but that doesn't change anything. If you want to be with him, be with him."
"Oh my god," she answered, wiping some of her tears away. "Thank you so much. I can't believe you're this cool about things."
"Yeah, sure," I said. "Don't worry, it's fine."
I continue wandering around the house, and when I come back through the family room, Stacy, still standing on the same table, grabs me by the shoulder, turns me to face everyone, and proclaims, "People! People? Everybody! I want to introduce you to the nicest guy in the whole world!"
I step away from the table, smile to return the several curious glances I've received as a result of the announcement, and continue on my way toward the front of the house.
Scene 3 – Saturday, 6pm
Several people, including myself, wander into the art studio at the back of the house. The room is large and surrounded on two sides with floor-to-ceiling windows which are letting the sun shine into the room. Then, on the floor in the middle of the room, we see Amy, one of the hosts of the party, asleep next to Eric. Both of their bodies have been intricately painted in harlequin designs, in very vibrant colors — mostly purple and red and blue. Arranged around the floor of the room are about a dozen stylized plaster busts of Amy, with exaggerated nipples and belly buttons, also painted in the same fashion. It's not clear whether they were done along with the body painting or were pre-existing, but the paint seems dry when several of the partygoers touch the busts.
Sensing the activity around her, Amy suddenly awakes, and is very embarrassed to be naked in front of this group of people. She covers herself with her hands, but partygoers reassure her that it's not necessary. "No need to be embarrassed. The paint is like wearing clothes, right?"
The activity has begun to draw attention from the rest of the party, and soon Stacy walks in, sees Eric in this compromising set of circumstances, and runs from the room crying.
The party begins to fall apart soon afterward, between having a naked host, a traumatized host's best friend, and a thoroughly drama-saturated assembly of guests, and people begin to head home.
My previous group of friends, now joined by Rusty and Sarah, all pile into my little car out front, and we drive away. No one is talking about what had just happened, and everyone seems a little exhausted.
Act III
Scene 1 – Saturday, 8pm
I drive up to my parents' house right around dusk, and Rob and Weyandt and I get out of the car and go inside.
Rob has mentioned that he has a paper of some sort to write, so I take him to my old Apple IIe computer, and show him the word processing software and how to turn the machine on.
I continue on into my old room. Weyandt also has something to work on, and gets busy at my old desk shuffling through some papers.
I hear Rob calling me, and upon my going back into the computer room, he tells me that the screen is fuzzy. I look at the green monochrome monitor, which looks more like an oscilliscope screen than a computer monitor in the dream, twist the outside frame of the [now] circular display, and the blurred characters on the screen condense into readable text. Rob thanks me, and I return to my room.
I've decided I need to change into more comfortable clothes, and as I'm digging through the closet, I find a dress belonging to Stacy. It makes me suddenly a little nostalgic and sad, and in a moment of odd inspiration, I decide it would make me feel better if I tried the dress on. About the time I get it pulled over me, my mother walks into the room.
"What are you doing?!?" she asks. "First the dating of the girl and the guy, or whatever you call what it was, and then this?"
"Um, just felt sad and strange, and it seemed like a good thing at the time. It's not what it looks like. Trust me."
Seeming unconvinced, my mother goes back downstairs.
Scene 2 – Saturday, middle of the night
I've decided that sitting on my roof will make me feel better (I used to do this a lot when growing up), so I climb out my bedroom windo onto the steeply sloped roof outside. I scramble over to a more open area, and watch some kids playing in the dark down the street.
I spend a long time lost in thought, until the loud noise of a truck engine roaring catches my attention, and I see an old model light blue pickup truck bounce up into my parents' yard. The driver's window is open, and he looks up at me and starts shouting insults as he turns the wheel hard to the left and begins doing doughnuts in my parents' lawn. I've deduced that he must be related to an estranged business associate of my dad. Grass and mud are shooting out in every direction, with some making it as high as the roof, and I'm a little scared by the man's presence in general, so I start climbing back toward the bedroom window.
As I climb, pieces of the roof start crumbling under my feet. I grab for the eaves of the dormer window, and, as I begin to lunge toward the window, I find that it's been closed. I shout for help, and Weyandt's head soon pokes out the opening window. He apologizes. "Didn't want to waste the air conditioning. Sorry, man."
I climb back inside my room.
Scene 3 – Sunday, around 8am
We've been up all night, and Weyandt, Rob, and I walk back to my car. In the street gutter on either side of the car Rusty, Sarah, and Peck are sleeping, spread out flush with the curb.
"Oh no!" I said. "I completely forgot they were out here!"
The sleepers begin to sit up and curse us for leaving them out in the street. I apologize profusely. Soon afterward, though, everyone is laughing about the situation, and we decide to pile into the car and go somewhere for breakfast.
Scene 1 – Friday, around 8pm
I'm pacing around the breakfast room in the house of a girl named Stacy, as I talk to my mother on a cordless phone. I, Stacy, and another fictitious dream character, Eric, have just returned from seeing a movie at the theater. Stacy and Eric are in other parts of the house.
"Yes mom, I know it's weird that she's dating two people at the same time, but I'm okay with it. NO it's not like that. No, the relationship is pretty Platonic. Sure we go out and do stuff the three of us, but there's really not much intimacy to it. Yeah, I've kissed her a couple of times, but he wasn't around. That's about it. Friends mostly. I'm not sure if their interaction is the same. I've gotta go. Yeah. I need to run. Bye."
Scene 2 – Saturday, 10am
I'd been asleep on the couch in Stacy's den and have only been awake for about 10 minutes. The curtains are drawn, giving the entire interior of the house a sort of dim brown color. I'm wandering around the den, deciding whether to take a shower, watch TV, go home, or go back to sleep on the couch.
Eric is still asleep on the couch in living room.
A few minutes later Stacy emerges from her bedroom, chattering loudly, and walks past me to an old-fashioned blackboard on the back wall of the den. The commotion has awoken Eric, who is standing sleepily leaning against the archway between the living room and den.
Stacy points to the blackboard, on which is written a long math proof in paragraph form:
|x+n| >= |x| >= |x-n| and {x+n} U {x} =~ {x+n} . . . .
Stacy is emotionally out of sorts and cranky, and her mood is matched by her appearance — unkempt hair, wrinkled t-shirt in which she slept, and squinty eyes. She explains that the mathematics proof gives the reason why she can't continue with the two of us, and that she really needs to be single for a while. Eric protests a little. I'm simply befuddled by the situation.
Remembering a comment my brother has often made, I think to myself, "I guess I lost my turn, then. . . ."
I put on my shoes, gather my keys and wallet, and walk out the door and down the sidewalk to my car.
Act II
Scene 1 – Saturday, 3pm
I and my friends Weyandt, Rob, and Peck are packed into the red Toyota Corolla I drove in high school and college, on the way to a party at Stacy's friend Amy's house (another fictional character).
I'm driving, and have chosen to follow a mostly residential route to get there. The road has many dips, and everyone in the car is laughing as we hit each one.
We arrive at the house, which seems fairly quiet from the outside. There don't appear to be many cars around, and I park in the driveway, which is empty. My friends and I stand around the driveway and joke and talk for quite a while before going inside.
Scene 2 – Saturday, 3:30pm
Standing in the front living room of the small house I'm surrounded by many very drunk people. Even the small couch facing the front door is piled up with about 7 people. In addition to the friends that came with me, Rusty and Sarah are also here, and several dream friends.
I find myself a drink and begin mingling about the house.
As I enter the family room in the center of the house, I see Stacy sitting on top of a round table, crying softly. Putting any confusion about the morning aside, I ask her if she's okay.
Obviously quite drunk, she sort of nods and sniffles.
I think for a moment, and then postulate, "This breakup thing this morning — it wasn't really about being single was it? You wanted to be with Eric, but couldn't figure out a way to be fair about it."
She looked me in the eyes, paused, and then slowly nodded her head.
"Why didn't you ask?" I said. "It's okay with me. I'm a little disappointed, of course, but that doesn't change anything. If you want to be with him, be with him."
"Oh my god," she answered, wiping some of her tears away. "Thank you so much. I can't believe you're this cool about things."
"Yeah, sure," I said. "Don't worry, it's fine."
I continue wandering around the house, and when I come back through the family room, Stacy, still standing on the same table, grabs me by the shoulder, turns me to face everyone, and proclaims, "People! People? Everybody! I want to introduce you to the nicest guy in the whole world!"
I step away from the table, smile to return the several curious glances I've received as a result of the announcement, and continue on my way toward the front of the house.
Scene 3 – Saturday, 6pm
Several people, including myself, wander into the art studio at the back of the house. The room is large and surrounded on two sides with floor-to-ceiling windows which are letting the sun shine into the room. Then, on the floor in the middle of the room, we see Amy, one of the hosts of the party, asleep next to Eric. Both of their bodies have been intricately painted in harlequin designs, in very vibrant colors — mostly purple and red and blue. Arranged around the floor of the room are about a dozen stylized plaster busts of Amy, with exaggerated nipples and belly buttons, also painted in the same fashion. It's not clear whether they were done along with the body painting or were pre-existing, but the paint seems dry when several of the partygoers touch the busts.
Sensing the activity around her, Amy suddenly awakes, and is very embarrassed to be naked in front of this group of people. She covers herself with her hands, but partygoers reassure her that it's not necessary. "No need to be embarrassed. The paint is like wearing clothes, right?"
The activity has begun to draw attention from the rest of the party, and soon Stacy walks in, sees Eric in this compromising set of circumstances, and runs from the room crying.
The party begins to fall apart soon afterward, between having a naked host, a traumatized host's best friend, and a thoroughly drama-saturated assembly of guests, and people begin to head home.
My previous group of friends, now joined by Rusty and Sarah, all pile into my little car out front, and we drive away. No one is talking about what had just happened, and everyone seems a little exhausted.
Act III
Scene 1 – Saturday, 8pm
I drive up to my parents' house right around dusk, and Rob and Weyandt and I get out of the car and go inside.
Rob has mentioned that he has a paper of some sort to write, so I take him to my old Apple IIe computer, and show him the word processing software and how to turn the machine on.
I continue on into my old room. Weyandt also has something to work on, and gets busy at my old desk shuffling through some papers.
I hear Rob calling me, and upon my going back into the computer room, he tells me that the screen is fuzzy. I look at the green monochrome monitor, which looks more like an oscilliscope screen than a computer monitor in the dream, twist the outside frame of the [now] circular display, and the blurred characters on the screen condense into readable text. Rob thanks me, and I return to my room.
I've decided I need to change into more comfortable clothes, and as I'm digging through the closet, I find a dress belonging to Stacy. It makes me suddenly a little nostalgic and sad, and in a moment of odd inspiration, I decide it would make me feel better if I tried the dress on. About the time I get it pulled over me, my mother walks into the room.
"What are you doing?!?" she asks. "First the dating of the girl and the guy, or whatever you call what it was, and then this?"
"Um, just felt sad and strange, and it seemed like a good thing at the time. It's not what it looks like. Trust me."
Seeming unconvinced, my mother goes back downstairs.
Scene 2 – Saturday, middle of the night
I've decided that sitting on my roof will make me feel better (I used to do this a lot when growing up), so I climb out my bedroom windo onto the steeply sloped roof outside. I scramble over to a more open area, and watch some kids playing in the dark down the street.
I spend a long time lost in thought, until the loud noise of a truck engine roaring catches my attention, and I see an old model light blue pickup truck bounce up into my parents' yard. The driver's window is open, and he looks up at me and starts shouting insults as he turns the wheel hard to the left and begins doing doughnuts in my parents' lawn. I've deduced that he must be related to an estranged business associate of my dad. Grass and mud are shooting out in every direction, with some making it as high as the roof, and I'm a little scared by the man's presence in general, so I start climbing back toward the bedroom window.
As I climb, pieces of the roof start crumbling under my feet. I grab for the eaves of the dormer window, and, as I begin to lunge toward the window, I find that it's been closed. I shout for help, and Weyandt's head soon pokes out the opening window. He apologizes. "Didn't want to waste the air conditioning. Sorry, man."
I climb back inside my room.
Scene 3 – Sunday, around 8am
We've been up all night, and Weyandt, Rob, and I walk back to my car. In the street gutter on either side of the car Rusty, Sarah, and Peck are sleeping, spread out flush with the curb.
"Oh no!" I said. "I completely forgot they were out here!"
The sleepers begin to sit up and curse us for leaving them out in the street. I apologize profusely. Soon afterward, though, everyone is laughing about the situation, and we decide to pile into the car and go somewhere for breakfast.